& so it begins

8/1/09 - 9/1/09 9/1/09 - 10/1/09 10/1/09 - 11/1/09 11/1/09 - 12/1/09 12/1/09 - 1/1/10 1/1/10 - 2/1/10 2/1/10 - 3/1/10 3/1/10 - 4/1/10 4/1/10 - 5/1/10 5/1/10 - 6/1/10 6/1/10 - 7/1/10 7/1/10 - 8/1/10 8/1/10 - 9/1/10 9/1/10 - 10/1/10 10/1/10 - 11/1/10 11/1/10 - 12/1/10 12/1/10 - 1/1/11 1/1/11 - 2/1/11 2/1/11 - 3/1/11 3/1/11 - 4/1/11 4/1/11 - 5/1/11 5/1/11 - 6/1/11 6/1/11 - 7/1/11 7/1/11 - 8/1/11 8/1/11 - 9/1/11 9/1/11 - 10/1/11 10/1/11 - 11/1/11 11/1/11 - 12/1/11 12/1/11 - 1/1/12 1/1/12 - 2/1/12 2/1/12 - 3/1/12 6/1/12 - 7/1/12 7/1/12 - 8/1/12 8/1/12 - 9/1/12 9/1/12 - 10/1/12 10/1/12 - 11/1/12 6/1/13 - 7/1/13 7/1/13 - 8/1/13 8/1/13 - 9/1/13 9/1/13 - 10/1/13 12/1/13 - 1/1/14 1/1/14 - 2/1/14 2/1/14 - 3/1/14 3/1/14 - 4/1/14 4/1/14 - 5/1/14

I cannot sleep because I fear my future. I feel so disappointed in myself for not making a bigger effort in my life. Time is going by so fast and things are going to change in an instant. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so scared and depress that I've caused myself to be wide awake. I'm also very hungry now being up so late. Why is it that staying up at night is the most vulnerable time for me. The loneliness and quietness of the night gives me no distraction from thinking. I need to stop before I get too depress. This sucks.



got me some hazel colored contacts and have my extensions on just to go to buffalo wild wings. i'm sucha dork.
booked a weekend trip to san diego to do the ridiculous obstacle challenge race 5k with steven and his coworkers. it's gonna be an interesting trip. time to shape up and think of a costume to wear during the race.
i needed change. hopefully this will allow me to open up more without increasing the hatred towards me.

i also decided, my blog needs more pictures so i shall try to add photos with each blog.

now time to get back to the grind.
i'm glad things worked out that way :] it's a circle of lies, betrayal, weird degrees of interest for each other, and put aside drama. gg.
i'm aging. i don't remember these dark bags under my eye being so noticeable.

i'm tired from school. my mother continues to stress me out. work is starting to take up too much time. people are idiots.

also, people need to learn to respect their elders. as you're fucking up your life, you're also fucking up your family's life. i need to grow up and stop fucking around. i don't need two handicapped parents.

i need time and sleep.
i've been getting the worst allergies ever since 2 years ago and it's been coming back ever so often since then. it'd be a sore throat, runny nose, lost of voice, a lot of runny noses, and sometimes little headaches and sinus pressures. ugh! i don't understand why?! i mean i never had problems with allergies before :[ stupid old age.

i went to the doctor to check on my health (i've been complaining about nausea since high school) and once again, nothing. i fucking hate this. wtf is wrong with me? and i fucking hate co-payments lol. shit.

i'm already slacking off in school. tomorrow must only consist of cleaning and studying. also it's sushi sunday. steven, steph, and i have been trying to find a good sushi place that open's on sunday lunch, has all you can eat, decent priced, and is within 10 miles or less. it's been a challenge, really.

okay, okay, goodnight.