& so it begins

8/1/09 - 9/1/09 9/1/09 - 10/1/09 10/1/09 - 11/1/09 11/1/09 - 12/1/09 12/1/09 - 1/1/10 1/1/10 - 2/1/10 2/1/10 - 3/1/10 3/1/10 - 4/1/10 4/1/10 - 5/1/10 5/1/10 - 6/1/10 6/1/10 - 7/1/10 7/1/10 - 8/1/10 8/1/10 - 9/1/10 9/1/10 - 10/1/10 10/1/10 - 11/1/10 11/1/10 - 12/1/10 12/1/10 - 1/1/11 1/1/11 - 2/1/11 2/1/11 - 3/1/11 3/1/11 - 4/1/11 4/1/11 - 5/1/11 5/1/11 - 6/1/11 6/1/11 - 7/1/11 7/1/11 - 8/1/11 8/1/11 - 9/1/11 9/1/11 - 10/1/11 10/1/11 - 11/1/11 11/1/11 - 12/1/11 12/1/11 - 1/1/12 1/1/12 - 2/1/12 2/1/12 - 3/1/12 6/1/12 - 7/1/12 7/1/12 - 8/1/12 8/1/12 - 9/1/12 9/1/12 - 10/1/12 10/1/12 - 11/1/12 6/1/13 - 7/1/13 7/1/13 - 8/1/13 8/1/13 - 9/1/13 9/1/13 - 10/1/13 12/1/13 - 1/1/14 1/1/14 - 2/1/14 2/1/14 - 3/1/14 3/1/14 - 4/1/14 4/1/14 - 5/1/14

for my mother. she showed me how to be strong willed. she pushed me to be a better person. she gave me life. she gave me her fashion sense. she gave me half of my genes. she allowed me to grow after everything i've done. she still loved me after all the shit i gave her. she made me humble by embarrassing me and making me feel decent enough. she always tried to give me the better things and life.

for my father. he keeps my mother going. he's a hero. he's my hero. he's the foundation of our family. he never shows fear and takes charge. he showed me how to love another being by being there for my mother and for his mother. i'm still his little girl. he never asks for help. he's too good to me.

for my brothers: andrew and brian. i don't have that fight relationship with my brothers. they're my little brothers who i still pay for their meals and games if they want it. i too baby them as much as my parents do. i enjoy their company. andrew is the good kid of the three who will take care of any of us if needed to. brian is the baby and that's about it lol. without them, my parents would suffocate me.

for my boyfriend: my best friend. comforts me while i can't do the same. he loves me for me. he opens up to me and i to him. he's there for me and i just can't see myself being able to be with anyone but him. (gay, i know). we've been through a lot and i'm thankful he stayed with me throughout it all. he's a tough cookie.

for my friends: thank you for being my friend. you are crazy to be friends with me. i cherish each and every one of you. may our friendship last and last lol

done.
friends shouldn't judge your actions, attitudes in life, and the way you are. they should be supporting your lifestyle or lending you advice. there shouldn't be a need of jealousy, instead friends should encourage you for what you do have and vice versa.

making friendships should be effortlessly. there's no need to work your way around to fit them into your life. they should just be in your life. there shouldn't be a need to say "i haven't seen you in forever, let's plan something up," but rather meet up. i enjoy the friendships i have where i can have a conversation with them and feel like we've been talking to each other everyday. where there's no need to fill in "so how's life? school? boyfriend?" because your friendship is so strong the conversation just continues on without asking the questions. there shouldn't be a need to feel like you have to say something interesting so that you can maintain a conversation or have any awkward silent moments. fake conversations are the worst and i've grown tired of it.

i don't appreciate fake friendly conversations as well. it's like they only want to talk to you because they want something from you. i have nothing to give. i really don't, so stop now.

why does it have to be so complicated? it's like worse than a relationship, i think. meh.
i'm ready to get my dance on at the club on saturday. so watch out. no creepers please thanks <3

now to find a way to get butt drunk and not have to be dd. hmmmmm.

also THANKSGIVING IS COMING UP. this year my family was invited to steven's family thanksgiving since all of his relatives moved out of state. it'll be interesting. even after all these tragedies that have happened, i'm thankful for what i do have but i'll write more about that once thanksgiving is closer.

thanksgiving means wongsgiving! a wonderful friends tradition that will hopefully last more than a few years. almost the same people are going. there a newbies that i'm excited to see and have fun with. ahh i'm excited for food too! i have such talented friends hahaha.

steven's TWENTY THIRD birthday is coming up. wtf he's old. hehe. i already know what to get him and now i just have to plan a dinner for him. sadly, i have school all day on his birthday but we'll celebrate the day before. 23 isn't an important birthday anyway lol <3

and then....DECEMBER!!!!!!
is a horrible year for my family and i. wtf. the continuing of bad fortunes is making me feel like we're cursed or something. i'm sucha loser thinking like this but i feel like buying my new car that i actually wanted will lead to something really horrible to happen. i can never be truly happy when good things come my way because something bad always happen. i swear. i'm not a pessimistic or anything but it just seems like more bad events has occurred rather than good. boo.


having fun with the camera app on my phone.
finally bought got a car woot woot. i love it but i can barely drive it. i'm close to getting it though so i'm excited to go crazy on it. can't believe my dad let me get stick. he loves the car so i guess that's way he agreed to it. yay. now to make it all ricey hahahahahaha jk. :]
you can be very harsh, scary, and mean but you are a wonderful person. i love how in love you are with my mother. it's a tough job, my mom is, before and after the incident. you do it so well. i didn't realize how great you truly were until i saw you spending all your time with mom. 24/7 never leaving her side. how you try cooking for us lol. how you had to talk more and be social because that was mom's job. also you baby me quietly but enough for me to understand that you do spoil me rotten. you went through a lot since you were a child from dealing with your horrible father's gambling addiction, leaving your mother to have no money to raise you and your 9 siblings. even with such a horrible childhood having you to grow up at such a young age, you allow me to still rely on you. i love you. even through the hardest times when we fought so much. you believed in me. i'm proud to have you as my father even if you're a dorky weirdo. happy birthday daddy.

my father is awesome. i could never survive and be normal with all the things he has been through. he is one tough cookie.
"holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head"