& so it begins

8/1/09 - 9/1/09 9/1/09 - 10/1/09 10/1/09 - 11/1/09 11/1/09 - 12/1/09 12/1/09 - 1/1/10 1/1/10 - 2/1/10 2/1/10 - 3/1/10 3/1/10 - 4/1/10 4/1/10 - 5/1/10 5/1/10 - 6/1/10 6/1/10 - 7/1/10 7/1/10 - 8/1/10 8/1/10 - 9/1/10 9/1/10 - 10/1/10 10/1/10 - 11/1/10 11/1/10 - 12/1/10 12/1/10 - 1/1/11 1/1/11 - 2/1/11 2/1/11 - 3/1/11 3/1/11 - 4/1/11 4/1/11 - 5/1/11 5/1/11 - 6/1/11 6/1/11 - 7/1/11 7/1/11 - 8/1/11 8/1/11 - 9/1/11 9/1/11 - 10/1/11 10/1/11 - 11/1/11 11/1/11 - 12/1/11 12/1/11 - 1/1/12 1/1/12 - 2/1/12 2/1/12 - 3/1/12 6/1/12 - 7/1/12 7/1/12 - 8/1/12 8/1/12 - 9/1/12 9/1/12 - 10/1/12 10/1/12 - 11/1/12 6/1/13 - 7/1/13 7/1/13 - 8/1/13 8/1/13 - 9/1/13 9/1/13 - 10/1/13 12/1/13 - 1/1/14 1/1/14 - 2/1/14 2/1/14 - 3/1/14 3/1/14 - 4/1/14 4/1/14 - 5/1/14

i don't have a clear mindset what i want to write in here so no clever title.

i was glad to have gone to the beach last week even though the weather site predicted cold weather. it was actually nice and hot that i had the courage to jump into the water. i was also glad to have friends to come along on my planned beach trip. i hate planning things which is pretty funny because i always thought wedding planning would be fun.

i like laying here in my boyfriend's bed as he's fast asleep. it makes me feel safe and comfortable with no worry in the world. i should be at the hospital stressing for my mother's health to get better. she was moved out of the icu thankfully but hasn't been able to talk yet :T

i'm working myself crazy as well lol i don't know why because i'm not worried about money (well maybe a little once my mother is back to normal) i just don't want so much free time. i feel like work will fill my void. my days off will probably be wednesday and thursday. maybe not thursday we'll see.

i plan to keep a hand written little notebook to keep my mind straight. to help me remember things. i've been very forgetful. also to keep track what i need to purchase haha! and to keep in mind plans for the summer.

i don't want to try anymore with people. i'm content on being nice when is needed at the moment but i won't put effort in friendship. i'm tired, you see. i'm tired of being pushed around. i'm tired of being there to listen to your problems. i'm tired to not be able to be frank about who you are as a person because i just want to be nice to you. i enjoy the friendships i have because they don't put up a fake front. i will only talk to you if i need to but don't expect it to not be awkward.

it's disgusting how persistent guys will be to get into your pants. a coworker has been told by MANY other coworkers how unavailable i am and yet he continued his mission to get my number. no never hell no. one of my coworkers said i should take it as a compliment but i don't. i have a good enough self esteem to know that guys will easily hit on me. stupid girl. just because you're not as attractive (don't want to be mean). haha oh well.

there's nothing else to be said except my birthday is coming up! and my FIVE year anniversary is coming up!