& so it begins

8/1/09 - 9/1/09 9/1/09 - 10/1/09 10/1/09 - 11/1/09 11/1/09 - 12/1/09 12/1/09 - 1/1/10 1/1/10 - 2/1/10 2/1/10 - 3/1/10 3/1/10 - 4/1/10 4/1/10 - 5/1/10 5/1/10 - 6/1/10 6/1/10 - 7/1/10 7/1/10 - 8/1/10 8/1/10 - 9/1/10 9/1/10 - 10/1/10 10/1/10 - 11/1/10 11/1/10 - 12/1/10 12/1/10 - 1/1/11 1/1/11 - 2/1/11 2/1/11 - 3/1/11 3/1/11 - 4/1/11 4/1/11 - 5/1/11 5/1/11 - 6/1/11 6/1/11 - 7/1/11 7/1/11 - 8/1/11 8/1/11 - 9/1/11 9/1/11 - 10/1/11 10/1/11 - 11/1/11 11/1/11 - 12/1/11 12/1/11 - 1/1/12 1/1/12 - 2/1/12 2/1/12 - 3/1/12 6/1/12 - 7/1/12 7/1/12 - 8/1/12 8/1/12 - 9/1/12 9/1/12 - 10/1/12 10/1/12 - 11/1/12 6/1/13 - 7/1/13 7/1/13 - 8/1/13 8/1/13 - 9/1/13 9/1/13 - 10/1/13 12/1/13 - 1/1/14 1/1/14 - 2/1/14 2/1/14 - 3/1/14 3/1/14 - 4/1/14 4/1/14 - 5/1/14

so my father cancelled cable for a while now because of stupid FX and cable or whatnot and decided to finally get direct tv. now all i can think about is getting myself a flatscreen. i think i'm gonna do it. then i thought, well i'm going to have to change up my room and thought of a clever way to rearrange everything. i'm excited! i think i might just redecorate my room entirely or something. who knows, we'll see. after finding out how much tax return i'm getting, i just want to spend. bad eh? shopping is my only cure from depression.
i'm depress. i'm avoiding people right now. i hate myself.
last last thursday - worked from 4-10pm
last last friday - worked from 11-3, 5-9pm
last last saturday - worked from 11:30-4, 5-10pm
last last sunday - worked from 2-10pm
last wednesday - midterm 1pm
last thursday - worked from 5-10pm
last friday - worked from 11-3, 5-9:30pm
last saturday - worked from 11:30-3, 4-9:45pm
today - SICK
tomorrow - midterm


wonder why i'm sick eh?! >:[ so i hate when people complain that they're so tired at work when i know their schedule and comparing it with mine, it's a breeze. people are lame. being sick is lame. i hate being sick. i just despise it. this the worst when you get like the worst headache with a sore throat. my head is throbbing. fuck.
bought myself a $75 eye-shadow brush set. i had to buy it. it called to me after i saw that sephora was selling it again after being sold out during xmas time. so i thought to myself, "self, they might never sell it again. do it" and there you have it. i'd make a wonderful valentine. :]
i dreamed i was a bridesmaid in someone's wedding. there were a lot of people in my dream last night. it was a bit weird but i don't remember why they were in it except for one person.

i had a dream my ex-bestfriend asked for forgiveness for being a shitty friend. it had to be a dream because she's not that type to "below" herself and make her look bad. she's also not the type to say sorry to such a thing. we are both very stubborn about the situation in reality but in this dream she cried. she didn't cry hysterically but just had tears falling down her face. i, being the bitch that i am, did not accept her forgiveness. it's been a tough relationship as i said to her and that i could never be her friend again. i just could not do it nor could i handle her friendship. i just thought it was interesting to have such a vivid dream about it because why now of all times would i dream about that?
more like adios michelle's throat. alcohol and me have a weird relationship. it's kinda sad to me and disappointing that i started to drink at sucha young age. maybe that's why i get so messed up from drinking. i never had a problem when i first started and then i stopped for a long time. now that i'm almost hitting that stage where it's legal to drink, i don't even think i can handle drinking. it sucks. i wish i had a bit of a tolerance for alcohol. i'll just have to drink reeeeally slow when the times come.
dear stomach,

thank you for not hating me anymore by being nauseous everytime i ate. i do not know why you hated mr. pill but he is now gone. now i will happily gain weight for you. also mr. alcohol will now be able to maintain itself as well.

love,
michelle