& so it begins

8/1/09 - 9/1/09 9/1/09 - 10/1/09 10/1/09 - 11/1/09 11/1/09 - 12/1/09 12/1/09 - 1/1/10 1/1/10 - 2/1/10 2/1/10 - 3/1/10 3/1/10 - 4/1/10 4/1/10 - 5/1/10 5/1/10 - 6/1/10 6/1/10 - 7/1/10 7/1/10 - 8/1/10 8/1/10 - 9/1/10 9/1/10 - 10/1/10 10/1/10 - 11/1/10 11/1/10 - 12/1/10 12/1/10 - 1/1/11 1/1/11 - 2/1/11 2/1/11 - 3/1/11 3/1/11 - 4/1/11 4/1/11 - 5/1/11 5/1/11 - 6/1/11 6/1/11 - 7/1/11 7/1/11 - 8/1/11 8/1/11 - 9/1/11 9/1/11 - 10/1/11 10/1/11 - 11/1/11 11/1/11 - 12/1/11 12/1/11 - 1/1/12 1/1/12 - 2/1/12 2/1/12 - 3/1/12 6/1/12 - 7/1/12 7/1/12 - 8/1/12 8/1/12 - 9/1/12 9/1/12 - 10/1/12 10/1/12 - 11/1/12 6/1/13 - 7/1/13 7/1/13 - 8/1/13 8/1/13 - 9/1/13 9/1/13 - 10/1/13 12/1/13 - 1/1/14 1/1/14 - 2/1/14 2/1/14 - 3/1/14 3/1/14 - 4/1/14 4/1/14 - 5/1/14

i don't know how i get here but i just got hit with depression. i guess that's how depression works, it just appears out of thin air with no reason. maybe because my parents didn't have christmas spirit this year so we have no christmas tree or decorations up and that they are ditching my brothers and i every holiday like thanksgiving. i think they are going through a mid life crisis in which they are having too much fun with their friends who don't have kids to worry about. i don't mind, my mom has been going through a lot with deaths of her brother and mother while my dad as to watch out for her. also, i haven't been the greatest daughter in the world. i would label myself number 3 in my parents' hearts out of 3 kids lol. it's okay i was the first child, the experiment of it all. another reason why i must be depress is my insecurities with people. i feel like i'm the most hated on person at work and i think it's getting to me. i know i shouldn't care what other people think but it's hard. i don't know what to do with myself. also, i'm insecure about the way i look right now. i can help but feel so ugly every time my mom complains about my acne and everyone asking me what happened to my face. it's sucha downer. i'm sucha downer.