& so it begins

8/1/09 - 9/1/09 9/1/09 - 10/1/09 10/1/09 - 11/1/09 11/1/09 - 12/1/09 12/1/09 - 1/1/10 1/1/10 - 2/1/10 2/1/10 - 3/1/10 3/1/10 - 4/1/10 4/1/10 - 5/1/10 5/1/10 - 6/1/10 6/1/10 - 7/1/10 7/1/10 - 8/1/10 8/1/10 - 9/1/10 9/1/10 - 10/1/10 10/1/10 - 11/1/10 11/1/10 - 12/1/10 12/1/10 - 1/1/11 1/1/11 - 2/1/11 2/1/11 - 3/1/11 3/1/11 - 4/1/11 4/1/11 - 5/1/11 5/1/11 - 6/1/11 6/1/11 - 7/1/11 7/1/11 - 8/1/11 8/1/11 - 9/1/11 9/1/11 - 10/1/11 10/1/11 - 11/1/11 11/1/11 - 12/1/11 12/1/11 - 1/1/12 1/1/12 - 2/1/12 2/1/12 - 3/1/12 6/1/12 - 7/1/12 7/1/12 - 8/1/12 8/1/12 - 9/1/12 9/1/12 - 10/1/12 10/1/12 - 11/1/12 6/1/13 - 7/1/13 7/1/13 - 8/1/13 8/1/13 - 9/1/13 9/1/13 - 10/1/13 12/1/13 - 1/1/14 1/1/14 - 2/1/14 2/1/14 - 3/1/14 3/1/14 - 4/1/14 4/1/14 - 5/1/14

what itches my shopping addict? when others dress better than me. when they have the outfit i would want to wear. it's worst when she's your friend who wears the same size but you're not close enough to just borrow her clothes. i always feel like i have to one up everyone when it comes to fashion senses but it's hard to do with this fashion model friend of mine. sigh. i hate feeling outdated in clothes. i hate feeling ugly. it's the insecure side of me.

why am i addicted to shopping? maybe because my mother is also a brand name junkie (haha junkie) who's main objective is to buy wonderfully gorgeous shoes that i could NEVER squeeze my feet into. it pains me when she buys these shoes and never wear them. or maybe because that's how i fit myself into society. if i didn't have fashion, i'd be that awkward girl who no one would ever want to talk to. i guess it makes it easier for people to talk to someone who dresses nice.

i really need to shop. i really do. i get up every morning not knowing what to wear and wanting to wear the same thing over again. it's just how i am. it's in my blood. i don't think i could ever give up shopping unless i was really low in money.

is it sad that i am sucha shopaholic? no, because i never put myself in debt when shopping. people may see me as if i shop all my money away but i don't. it relaxes me. everyone has some sort of addiction to one thing. i'll just admit it right now to mine. shopping.