& so it begins

8/1/09 - 9/1/09 9/1/09 - 10/1/09 10/1/09 - 11/1/09 11/1/09 - 12/1/09 12/1/09 - 1/1/10 1/1/10 - 2/1/10 2/1/10 - 3/1/10 3/1/10 - 4/1/10 4/1/10 - 5/1/10 5/1/10 - 6/1/10 6/1/10 - 7/1/10 7/1/10 - 8/1/10 8/1/10 - 9/1/10 9/1/10 - 10/1/10 10/1/10 - 11/1/10 11/1/10 - 12/1/10 12/1/10 - 1/1/11 1/1/11 - 2/1/11 2/1/11 - 3/1/11 3/1/11 - 4/1/11 4/1/11 - 5/1/11 5/1/11 - 6/1/11 6/1/11 - 7/1/11 7/1/11 - 8/1/11 8/1/11 - 9/1/11 9/1/11 - 10/1/11 10/1/11 - 11/1/11 11/1/11 - 12/1/11 12/1/11 - 1/1/12 1/1/12 - 2/1/12 2/1/12 - 3/1/12 6/1/12 - 7/1/12 7/1/12 - 8/1/12 8/1/12 - 9/1/12 9/1/12 - 10/1/12 10/1/12 - 11/1/12 6/1/13 - 7/1/13 7/1/13 - 8/1/13 8/1/13 - 9/1/13 9/1/13 - 10/1/13 12/1/13 - 1/1/14 1/1/14 - 2/1/14 2/1/14 - 3/1/14 3/1/14 - 4/1/14 4/1/14 - 5/1/14

i have been unable to sleep stress-free. my back has been aching, i get too hot or too cold in my blanket, and i'm getting sick so i have this massive headache and a stuffy nose. my dad just fed me medicine (haha i'm sucha daddy's girl) he even fixed my squeaky door that has been bothering me for the longest time.

i feel like a failure in school. all my grades have been horrible but the curve in those classes are ridiculous. i think i'm just not use to getting such low scores. it scares me but whatever.

i recently talked to someone from the past. i still can't help but resent her but i guess it doesn't hurt to small talk. it just seems like she always has something up her sleeve so my guard is up. it was nice to talk to someone different. i don't know if i can ever have the courage to hang out with her in real life. i still picture her being the bitch who enjoys watching people suffer physically or emotionally.

my grandparents room is empty. i don't think my grandfather can handle living there anymore so he's never home. it's just so weird. no one goes in there or touches anything. i get scared going around there because i believe my grandmother would try to contact me or something. yes i believe in ghosts.

i've been fighting my acne and i am losing. why must my skin hate me so much? it's so embarrassing. i feel so self conscious and ugly like i don't have the courage to go out. i want to be pretty again. i rather gain weight and have gorgeous skin. let me gain 10 lbs and lose my acne. :[

i'm becoming addicted to lady gaga. if i was a famous singer/actress or whatnot i think i would do the crazy fashion like she does. it just looks so much fun. she's very talented minus the fun outfits. i want to go to her concert, someone go with me and dress crazy forreals?

i feel so isolated from social gatherings. i feel so awkward and i feel like i don't belong. i've made some new friends yet i get this feeling that i just don't belong. i'm like that loner who tries too hard to have friends. i don't know maybe i just overthink situations but sigh. i was never good at socializing.

this blog was overdue so i decided to write whatever is on my mind so tah dah! hopefully someone will enjoy reading this haha