& so it begins

8/1/09 - 9/1/09 9/1/09 - 10/1/09 10/1/09 - 11/1/09 11/1/09 - 12/1/09 12/1/09 - 1/1/10 1/1/10 - 2/1/10 2/1/10 - 3/1/10 3/1/10 - 4/1/10 4/1/10 - 5/1/10 5/1/10 - 6/1/10 6/1/10 - 7/1/10 7/1/10 - 8/1/10 8/1/10 - 9/1/10 9/1/10 - 10/1/10 10/1/10 - 11/1/10 11/1/10 - 12/1/10 12/1/10 - 1/1/11 1/1/11 - 2/1/11 2/1/11 - 3/1/11 3/1/11 - 4/1/11 4/1/11 - 5/1/11 5/1/11 - 6/1/11 6/1/11 - 7/1/11 7/1/11 - 8/1/11 8/1/11 - 9/1/11 9/1/11 - 10/1/11 10/1/11 - 11/1/11 11/1/11 - 12/1/11 12/1/11 - 1/1/12 1/1/12 - 2/1/12 2/1/12 - 3/1/12 6/1/12 - 7/1/12 7/1/12 - 8/1/12 8/1/12 - 9/1/12 9/1/12 - 10/1/12 10/1/12 - 11/1/12 6/1/13 - 7/1/13 7/1/13 - 8/1/13 8/1/13 - 9/1/13 9/1/13 - 10/1/13 12/1/13 - 1/1/14 1/1/14 - 2/1/14 2/1/14 - 3/1/14 3/1/14 - 4/1/14 4/1/14 - 5/1/14

i rather have a pizza face than cottage cheese ass. pizza face as in acne and cottage cheese as in cellulite. why would i say such a thing? because i think someone compared me as a person to their huge ass. it's okay though because i'm not offended. i rather be me than that ass.

i don't know why i can't carry a friendship. like i've said, i am more of a loner. i think it's because i'm different but i try so hard to be the same. i don't think i've ever been myself with anyone. i've given bits and pieces to different individuals but not me as a whole. maybe the closest person to actually know me is my boyfriend. that's how it's suppose to be right? except when something goes wrong with the relationship but i highly doubt that. anyways, i don't know how to maintain a friend. i unintentionally push people away. it's hard. as a child, i've been used as a friend. used to look over homework or test answers. used for my cool toys. used for the comfort of others. friendship shouldn't be so hard but i make it to be. i perceive people to think negative about me when i first met people. it's just how i work. my mother always told me that whenever someone complimented me, it was all a lie. that no one would compliment me about this or that. it was harsh but it made me to not be so conceited but then it lead me to think that people just constantly lie to me. meeeeh.

as for relationship, we finally get each other. i know i've complained and bitch a lot about him but we now understand how we work. after all that pointless arguments, we know what to say or what not to say and when to say it. i guess we've just grown up in the relationship. i mean our relationship in the beginning was like the artificial boyfriend girlfriend high school nonsense where it was all just attraction or even to get others jealous. it sucks just thinking about how i was seconds to this bitch but that will be another story. we've build and now we have succeeded :] i'm sucha loser just writing about it but i really am happy. i can say our relationship is stable and that we don't want to stay together because we've been together for so long but because we want to be together. and that's that.